Different Century, same Jackasses

When I was a kid growing up in Carlyle, the pinnacle of entertainment was the occasional Demolition Derby held just south of town in a large circular arena surrounded by a dirt embankment for the spectators. (I wonder if the future archeologists will think we were performing tragic plays in a primitive but cultured society?). The best Derby I can remember was back in about '82 when Daryle Basken (a friend and gentleman peer) was driving really, really drunk in a car he had prepared for the day. I know what you're thinking, but hey, what's he going to do? Crash? He got disqualified immediately for chasing the flag official out of the ring but when you have spent all week welding the doors shut on a car, you don't give up so easily. Besides, there were cars to smash up even if you couldn't hold the trophy at the end! The coffee shops and high schools were buzzing in every town for weeks after. I often wonder where that crazy bastard ended up - probably head of English Literature at Cambridge or something.

Daryle Basken in another time

As a responsible adult, I can hardly condone this type of behavior, tsk, tsk, but I do enjoy a good bashing now and again. That itch got good and scratched this weekend at the Esrum Medieval Days. Oh sure, there were no '65 Pontiacs red-lining towards a man running for his life, but they did have a mounted knight smashing his lance into a guy with a wooden shield in pure "jackass" style. He charged at this guy at full trot on his horse and drove him into the ground. These guys are what they call enthusiasts.

Ok, put your hand up if you like watching a good fight at a dance or somewhere else that young men gather in the presence of alcohol. Back in my day, the best fights were held for entertainment and often had that good natured banter between combatants that you might find in a comic book. One time when Wayne Valentine was fighting a much bigger guy who didn't really want to fight, the big guy took him down easily a couple of times and then stopped fighting. Wayne picked himself up, dusted off his clothing dramatically and then before squaring off with his dukes up said "You let me up. For that, I won't kill you". Then he attacked and lost again. Wayne would have been a Templar Knight in the Middle Ages.

These guys don't sharpen their swords or axes, but they aren't doing a choreographed stage fight. I saw one guy get clonked on the helmet with an axe and it left a good dent. They are really doing battle and it ends when they are exhausted from carrying around 50 kg of armor and sweating inside a tin can hat.

Of course there is lighter entertainment like falcons, music and magic shows. I watched one magician that actually used magic instead of "sleight of hand". Seriously, he lifted the cup and there was an apple in it - no ball. Magic.

He was Swedish and funny. Imagine that.

Woman and eagle fused into one strange but dangerous creature. I bet she could find your reading glasses!

If I could go back in time, I would make sure the bagpipe only got played at funerals.

Now you might think that knights were honorable men fighting for king and church, but I think they were mostly drunken young guys in search of adventure and scullery maids. The boys from Manor would occasionally buy an old car for $100, don their armor (skidoo helmets) and drive on the country roads looking for a steep ditch to roll it. Now don't tell me these same guys wouldn't have signed right up for a 1200's crusade to Jeruselem. I just don't think the United Church of Canada was into those things.