What's a Christmas without Explosions?

On a date chosen by the first pope to keep the pagan holy days more or less intact, a little baby Jesus was born in the Christian quarter of old Jeruselum (although it may not have been Christian then) and received gifts from Sinterklaas, St Nick and Odin. Meanwhile a Yule Nisse is in the rafters eating rice porridge with a pat of butter on top. Or something like that. Without CocaCola and Canadian Tire to straighten things out for me, it has become rather confusing.

I know I was feeling a bit sorry for myself after 6 weeks of dark, dreary clouds and rain,  but Christmas morning started out with a light snow and then sunshine. We actually ended up with a white Christmas! The traditional Danish Christmas consists of the main Christmas meal on the 24th eve, kids open presents and then on Christmas day is a 5 hour Christmas "lunch". We keep the English tradition of opening presents on Christmas morning and we had the official meal and lunch days before Christmas so we had a day free to take a long walk.

Long walks are what we do over here.  Walks in the forest, along the coast and in the streets of Copenhagen. Without snow, you don't get the winter activities but you can always go for a walk. 

Hike along the snowy north coast

In the forest with some gnarly trees

Horsholm Kirke on a bright sunny day

Copenhagen from the Round Tower observation deck

Kids on the Round Tower

New Year's Eve draws a comparison mainly to the second Desert Storm, Mother of all Privately conducted Explosive Fireworks Festivals. Every man, woman and child over 5 is expected to let off 50 kg of fireworks. Special markets and tents are set up around the countryside to sell fireworks and every grocery store, corner store, cigar store and hardware store stocks up to sell fireworks. For days before and days after NYE, it sounds like a small arms market in Peshawar with all the gunfire and rockets firing off. Midnight on NYE the horizon over our town looked like the battle of Vimy Ridge. I think there is still some war refugees from the Gaza Strip hiding in their basement down the street from us. Emergency rooms get eyeballs and fingers damaged and this year 3 people were killed by some illegal professional fireworks that were ignited by prima cord instead of fuses (0.5 seconds is not long enough to run away).

Our neighbor was igniting fireworks on the street in front of our house a few days before NYE and we, of course, went out to watch. A cluster of small vertical fireworks blew out horizontally and came right up the road towards us exploding in the hedges all around. I grabbed Maja and carried her into our gate while Tom, who had been hiding behind a fence, hunkered down with beautiful purple starbursts exploding 2 meters away! A lot of excitement for our sleepy little street. Who would have thought that an $8 firework assembled by 8 year old kids in an 800 year old factory in China wouldn't have ISO 5001 standards? What?


So with Christmas and New Years over, what is on the horizon? Besides wind, rain and cloud, we have some hockey, we're moving Mette's mom into a Nursing home and we have a trip planned with the Stanley's to Italy in late March. I thought it might be wise to leave town before the Danes celebrate Easter. 

The Danish Christmas Lunch

First of all, let's dispel some discrepancies in translation. This is not actually a Christmas "Lunch". This is a Christmas "Marathon of Excess". The only thing that I've known that actually comes close is Grey Cup Sunday in Fillmore, Saskatchewan. When people tell you to bring your pajamas for Christmas Lunch, you should get a bit suspicious (or excited!). We sat down to food and drinks at 2 pm and didn't come up for air until about 10!

We drove for an hour to Susanne and Jørgen's house in Skibby by the Fjord. Jeanet and Nis came also, so we had 6 adults and 6 kids from 11 to 17 years old. Jeanet and Susanne both came to Canada to study at the same time Mette did. 

The table is set like artwork and the bottles of Akvavit are brought from the freezer and lined up for duty.

The calm before the storm

The food and drink are served in 3 main courses (fish, meat, and cheese/fruit) but with many specific rounds and pauses within each course. Each dish is traditional to the Christmas lunch and are to be expected if you are eating at a friends house, grandma's house or at the annual workplace lunch. In Canada, there are as many different ways to celebrate Christmas as there are families. In Denmark, there is the Danish way and what you lose in variety or surprise, you gain in the unity of sharing traditions with each other.

You start out with pickled herring, but on a hard grain bread (open face) with some fat (that's right - lard) spread on first. On top of the herring is the curried sauce - but that's really only for the light herring. The dark herrings just take raw onions. A cold sip of Akvavit follows each herring dish and if I can recall correctly, it follows just about every second bite you take for the rest of the night. I hold Jørgen and Nis in high respect as beer experts so we had a dozen brands of German, Belgian and Danish beers available to cut the taste of the Akvavit.

The rest of the day goes something like this: Herring-Akvavit-egg&shrimp-Akvavit-pan fried flatfish-Akvavit-beer break-remove plates, bring out new ones-Akvavit-Pork roast-Akvavit-Frikadella (meatballs)-beer-Akvavish-sing shongs-Ashkavish-cold cutsh-Ashvishk-mishkmishmm-something something-pass around boxes all colorful-Skoal!-Jeg ELSKER dig!!!-hug hug-Skoal!-blue cheese or something-Skoal!- dance to the Wii game, it must be broken, can't get any points-pajamas-I'll just lay down here for a bit.

I think that just before the cheese is served is where the old Vikings would make some great decision to head off to Greenland on a raid.

Hey - I got a keg! Wanna come to England?

Who Has Seen the Sun?

Am I missing the news? Can someone tell me if there has been a massive meteorite strike the earth and cast a permanent darkness with dust and ash? The clouds are so thick here that you almost need a flashlight at high noon. Even the Danes are telling me this is extraordinary, but I'm not sure I can trust anyone who tells me Akvavit is a tasty shot of spirits.

Couple of Danes disposing of a body under the cover of midday

November has been very tough. I am no longer a 90 day tourist nor has my resident application been accepted. I am an in-betweener. This means no drivers license, no library card, no jobs, no Danish lessons. Just read books, take runs and wait (for my CPR number, for some sun, for supper, for the kids to come home?).  The only thing keeping me sane is going to workouts with Steen at "Average Joe's Gym" (reference to movie 'Dodgeball', not the actual name of our gym).

Here's an example of my state of mind: today I took a special bike trip to the local EuroSpar grocery store just to pick up 6 litres of milk that was on sale! Once I was an industry baron, COO, CFO, CEO, OREO; with reversed coordinates I could direct a drilling rig to dig into Olympic Plaza in downtown Calgary, with an un-erased pencil mark I could have some Korean fabricating plant devising a method to connect a HydroCracker to a CatCracker, with some imaginative calculations I could send hundreds of young engineers to their death or industrial humiliation.  Now I scan the weekly flyers for a discount on rough grain oatmeal. Oh Schadenfraude!

Christmas will be a bright interlude into winter. There are Christmas markets starting up in Copenhagen so the artificial LED lighting will be good for the vitamin D. And….look who else dropped by to make things a little more interesting:

The local chimney sweep

Just try saying "Chimneysweep" without a jaunty Dick Van Dyke cockney accent!

Halloween Garden Gnomeo

Halloween in Denmark has become very North American. In 1996, the grocery store chain IRMA, sold their first decorative jack-o-lantern type pumpkin. Now they sell thousands and lots of people decorate their houses and really get into the spirit.

The kids dress up and trick or treat, but the schools are not so much involved like they are back in Canada. The treats that people hand out are either home-made baking or individual candies from a bag (but not wrapped individually if you know what I mean).

We went to a party with some friends from town and the kids used that as their base for trick or treating. Very similar to what we do back in the 'hood of Richie Hazeldean.

Have you ever decided to dress like a garden gnome or an old man or a street person or a lumberjack and realize that you don't have to go out and buy any clothes to make your outfit? That's just sad.

Ride the 'Snake' in Copenhagen

After two weeks of steady rain and cloud coupled with an empty bank account, we had a dramatic turnaround last week as money arrived from Canada along with some sunshine. This means "TOGA PARTY!!!", no wait, that was 25 years ago. At my age, a nice meal with my beautiful wife provides the same thrill as a 1980's Sunday night Toga Party at Boomer's with all the Kenosee waitresses and bartenders. (Ok ok, just kidding, I'm not THAT old)
We would have to organize a Date Night to celebrate but since we have no nights available, a Day Date would have to do. And a day date means a trip to Copenhagen! The best way to do Copenhagen is by joining the thousands of other cyclists on the bike trail system.

We took our bikes on to the train but got off at a park outside of greater Copenhagen. This park happens to have an amusement park in the middle of it but it was shut down for the winter. Amusement parks are very eerie places when there are no people around. (Wait…is that the wind or the sound of demons from another world complaining about the ridiculous price of a soda pop?)

You can walk right into the closed amusement park to do battle with zombies.

We rode the trails and paths through parkland, lakes, residential suburban areas and eventually right into downtown Copenhagen.

Beautiful parkland with fall colors.

At no point in the 15 km towards downtown were we ever in traffic and you can come into CPH from any direction and expect the same cycling experience. In fact, in some parts of the city the cycle traffic is so thick it has become a congestion problem on the pathways!

One of the main goals of the day was to ride across the new bike bridge called the "Cykelslangen" or bicycle snake. This bridge was built by the city to bring cyclists past a heavily congested route that included some stairs. It has a very gradual incline and carries the riders out over the canal and away from the crowded pedestrian area below. 

The Cykelslangen allows bikers to avoid pedestrians and fast moving boats.

We biked into the south island near Christiania and found a great place for lunch called Cafe Wilder. It's a small little restaurant with tight tables and lots of activity. Hell, after a thirst quenching beer followed by open face sandwiches with a shot of schnapps and then a wine and cheese dessert, it was WAY better than a Toga Party!

Executive (boozy) lunch at Cafe Wilder

The real beauty of biking in CPH is that the route home is simply to the nearest train station where they give you and your bike a ride home. Now, that's what I call a date!

Winter Warnings

I've been reading, with some sadness from my perspective, that the autumn weather on the Canadian prairies has been spectacular and that the Oilers and Riders have been less than spectacular. Actually, this is the first time in my life that I'm actually worried about the impending winter months. Even though the winter is warmer and shorter, I'm told the old sun is not going to be around very much.

Wind surfers and Para-sailers in the hurricane behind us

The Danes combat this the same way we do: get outside lots, stay active and have friends over for nice food and candlelight. This is called having a "hyggelig" time (pronounced hew-gely, loosely interpreted as "cozy"). 

Steen reading in front of the fire he built

The clouds, the wind and the rain mean a bit more seclusion on my part but I'm trying to combat this with workouts and running. I have found that I'm not anywhere near ready for retirement and need some things to keep me busy. While paying for a photo-radar ticket we also found out that my Alberta Driver's license is only good for 90 days. I can get a new Danish license after a driving test but only when I get my CPR number (see blog post #1), so I'm going to have my wings clipped soon. That's not as dramatic as it sounds because I have a bike and public transit, but still not good news. 

Learning the Danish language is still my prime objective but I can't take free lessons until I get my CPR number (see blog post #1). Paying for them is an option, but we are running a much tighter budget here than we ever have in the past. There is a simple reason for this:

Results of scientific study

I could probably find a job, but I need…….. (see post #1). Meanwhile, my objective is to schedule myself busy with worthwhile and meaningful tasks, keep fit and maintain a positive outlook. In fact, there is a section of blue sky between the clouds as I write this. Things are looking up!

City and Country

This Thanksgiving weekend marks the start of school holidays for the kids and teachers here in Denmark. The kids are warming up their thumbs for some anticipated screen action so I will take great joy in disappointing them with blackouts. You may not know this, but Mette is teaching English for a few hours per week at the elementary school so the holiday affects her also.

Friday night was "Culture Night" in Copenhagen where all the doors on art galleries, museums, dance studios, churches and historical buildings are thrown open and the public is admitted for free. Almost all the squares have tents set up with music and drink so the entire city and surrounding areas converge on the downtown. The night was mild and the sidewalks were packed with people and bikes. It was a really cool experience. We went to a big art gallery where one of the rooms had a 20' ring filled with 3" of sand and horse footprints in a figure 8. It was moving - I wept with the rapture.

The very next day we launched into a countryside bike ride around our area. The farmland and forests are covered in trails that are excellent for biking or hiking. The Danes really take advantage of the outdoors. On our 26 km journey we ran into bird watchers, falconers, horse riders, skeet shooters, hunting dog trials, radio controlled airplane enthusiasts, runners, bikers and farmers. I couldn't help but think the RC airplanes and the skeet shooters should join up or maybe the bird watchers, falconers and hunting dogs. There would be some great efficiencies in the club system.

On Thanksgiving Sunday we were invited to the house of another Canadian (Jeff) and his Danish wife (Louisa). They used to live in Vancouver and have been here for about 2 years now. They have kids in Maja and Tom's school. We also met up with another Mette who is married to an American (Kevin) and they've lived here for about 15 years. Louisa's sister and kid were also there so we numbered 16 in total. Louisa roasted a turkey (not so easy to find or finance) and we baked a couple of pumpkin pies - FROM SCRATCH! Baking pumpkin pies is not so easy, so you can imagine the rig pig language coming from me when the basket I was carrying them in broke and they tipped upside down! We scraped off the snails and moss and ate them anyway. It was a fantastic party and we had a lot of laughs and discussions. By the time we left at 1 AM, there were kids lying all over the place like a "kid bomb" had gone off.